why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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