I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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