happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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