My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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