So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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