whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
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There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
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He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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