i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
