His pubic hair was longer than his dick
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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