I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
