tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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