how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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