Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Ketchup is God's man juice
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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