So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
