Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
