Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Randomize
