i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
