Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
