Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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