She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize