I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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