Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
