but the lizard people decide everything anyway
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So vagazzling was a success
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
