he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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