I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
