you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
