Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
