this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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