We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
