i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
