i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
