So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
