you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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