so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
