You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
