I am spending my child support on dildos
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
