come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
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So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
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I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
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