spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
