Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
