you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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