I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
