none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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