I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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