You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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