Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You are a booty call, not a friend.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
