I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
You smell like stripper and shame
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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