i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
