remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
