u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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