I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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