Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
