After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
