Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
