four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
