I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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