I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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