I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
