There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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