yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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