Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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