I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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