then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
