Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
