I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
