he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i wish my penis had a tongue
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
